Fear of judgement from other people can seriously feed into our fear of failure, because we can sometimes put far too much emphasis on what others think. In reality, the fear of being judged is actually a reflection of our own insecurities. So, how can you resist letting others define you and achieve what you want?
Here, model Natalia LaLonde shares her thoughts and management tools around fearing doubt in her journey to be a full-time model – and shares how you can let go of that doubt.
When Natalia first decided to quit her relatively volatile job as a sales rep for a tech startup to enter the even more volatile world of modeling, she was terrified of failing. “The second I left my first job I was filled with a tangible dark cloud and I immediately thought “I’m going to end up broke, jobless, and I’ll never be able to work again and support myself,” she says.
“Dramatic? Yes. But these looming feelings of doubt are not uncommon to anyone in any career path.”
In Natalia’s world of modeling, many questions went through her head, when the little monster of doubt creeps into her head.
The intrusive concerns that Natalia had are: “Will I fail? I probably will”, “What if I don’t book this job, will I be broke?”, “Do people think I am too old? I’m not 16, I should retire”, “Do I have what it takes?”
Let “NO” Fuel Your Passion
Even a decade later into a relatively lucrative, sustainable, yet still completely volatile career – those questions still cross Natalia’s mind. The biggest difference is now she has lived through enough rejection to have her own toolkit to push these doubts and fears of judgement out of her mind. For her, getting a “no” began to fuel her passion, and gave her the ability to continue to persevere, keep calm, find fulfillment and stability in her career path.
Natalia’s tips on coping with the fear of failure and judgement “simply boil down to pushing it away”. There will always be fear – but we are always equipped with the tools to work with it.
Natalia’s Coping Toolkit For You
#1 Don’t set specific expectations: have an end goal, but going into a casting, or other big opportunity that I want, thinking “I HAVE to get this, and I will” could lead to disappointment. Instead, I’m going to research, do my best, and nail the casting. Knowing the rest is out of my control is a much better approach.
#2 Understand that the amount of rejection and closed doors outweighs the open doors: be prepared to bulldoze through judgement and rejections ,but be up and ready for when one door opens – and it will!
#3 Do not marinate on the rejections, shrug them off and move on : perseverance and patience is key in the modeling world, and also across different industries, so simply go to castings or interviews, allow yourself to be judged and accept the rejection. Assess what may need to be changed but then move on!
For Natalia, the positive part of being in a volatile and competitive industry, is that rejection is the common ground. “As long as you expect and learns to be fueled and not beaten down by rejection and judgement, then the doubts and fears can easily be battled,” she says. You are then left with a fun, flexible job and a ton of self-resilience.
Do you know someone who has big fear of judgement? Share this out!