When you’re having sex, or about to be, the last thing you want is to be struck down with a bout of anxiety about the way you’re going to perform. However, this can actually happen fairly frequently. It’s called sexual performance anxiety, and it occurs primarily when you are plagued with negative thoughts.
These thoughts can be related to either sex or issues in your daily life. For men, they can feel fear and anxiety about penis size and ability to please their partners. For women, they too can feel pressured to please their partners or feel insecure about their ability to perform sexually. In addition, body image could also play a role in performance anxiety. Other causes of performance anxiety may include stress about work, family life or finances.
Throughout your life, you can expect to feel a little nervous about sex at least once. However, if you’re really struggling with anxiety around sexual performance, we’ve put together the signs to look out for to ensure you spot them and get back on track.
Symptoms of Sexual Performance Anxiety
#1 You feel anxious
It’s normal to feel some nervous energy, like butterflies – especially with a new partner. However, if you’re feeling tense and panicky when it comes to hitting the sack, you may want to look more deeply into the reasons for this.
#2 You don’t want sex
You might be horny, but the idea of actual sex turns you completely off. Rather than something being wrong with you, it could be that your body is telling you you’re suffering from sexual performance anxiety!
#3 You can’t orgasm
Another sign of sexual performance anxiety is the inability to orgasm. This could be due to your intense focus on making sure that your partner is having a good time, and forgetting your own please.
#4 You don’t initiate sex
Horny as hell but can’t communicate that? You could be overthinking the process of initiating sex. It doesn’t have to be all bells and whistles – read below for some help on relaxing.
#5 You’re not communicating with your partner
Always the most important point: talking about it. You may find it awkward, but if you’re not speaking with your partner about what each of you like or are expecting, you could find you’re both going to only get more anxious.
How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety
In this article, we’ve explained that a lot in your life can affect your attitude towards sex. There is good news though. There are plenty of effective strategies for finally overcoming sexual performance anxiety – and for managing its symptoms too!
1.Release yourself from negative thoughts by clearing your head and creating some stress-relief tactics. Deep-breathing can help, as well as positive affirmations.
2. Take your time! Don’t worry about diving straight in – in fact, more foreplay and less rushing will help. Instead of focusing on yourself, look at pleasuring your partner and remember, you’re there to enjoy the experience. It’s an experience, not a race.
3. ind better ways to manage the stress in your life. Try managing your anxiety with tools including meditation for sexual performance anxiety and therapy, as well as living a healthier lifestyle in general.
4. Talk about it! Being open with your feelings with your partner is key to a healthy sex life.
5. Talk to your GP. It could be that talking about your concerns with a professional might help more than speaking to your partner.
Remember, facing up to your issues is key. Now, get set for some of the best sex of your life.