5 Signs You're Not Emotionally Available For A Relationship

Are you someone who is in love with love? Always seeking the next best thing, dreaming about roses and kisses in the moonlight and grand gestures? You may look at all of your coupled-up friends who are splashing their adventures across Instagram and making you wish you were in their shoes. It might be that you hop from one relationship to another, trying to find the perfect match and leaving it when it doesn’t quite live up to your expectations.

The idea of being in real love and having a long-term relationship may send shivers down your spine, or as soon as a potential partner grosses you out slightly (we call it ‘the ick’), you get rid - sharpish. Your friends say you’re just being picky - but is it that you’re actually just not ready for a relationship? Jumping into a relationship just because you WANT one may be the worst thing you can do, if you’re not emotionally available to make it work. There are a few questions you can ask yourself to find out what your heart and mind wants. Choose from the signs below to see if you’re not quite ready for a new relationship and follow the advice for how to remedy it. Good luck!  

Sign#1 : “I Still Love My Ex”

If, when you still think about your ex, you still feel a lot of pain and love for them, it’s likely you haven’t moved on. It’s normal to feel a slight clench of the heart and nostalgia when you think of an old flame, but it’s something altogether different when you’re pining for them. On one hand, you can’t become emotionally invested in another person fully when you’re longing for someone else. On the other, it’s not fair on any new potential partners either.

How To Get Over It

In some situations where a relationship has ended, there may be a possibility for closure. In others, all you can do is give yourself ample time to grieve. It will feel better in the end.  

Sign#2: “I Go For The Wrong People”

This is a common predicament of those who can never seem to find a suitable partner, rather going for people who prefer a casual hookup and never anything more. However, subconsciously you may be seeking those people out, because you are actually not ready for a committed relationship yourself.

How To Get Over It

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with casual flings - they can be the most fun! Just have a talk with yourself to find out if it’s exactly what you’re looking for - if so, go for it! If you’re looking for something deeper, perhaps take a break and embrace the ‘talking stage’ to forge a deeper connection.

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