Cheating is a blight on the face of relationships. When you love them, of course you don’t want them to go behind your back and betray you. I have been through cheating before and it is NOT a nice feeling! It leaves you feeling upset and wondering what you did wrong, or why the other person was better than you. Sometimes though, it can give you a boost to get out of a failing relationship and seek something better.


A question on everyone’s mind though, when you’ve been cheated on or are even suspecting it – is why? Why do people cheat, or more specifically, why do MEN cheat? We asked 50 men to tell us their secrets and divulge the reasons behind cheating on their partners.


14% said that the reason they would cheat, or how they define cheating is to simply have sexual contact with someone other than their current partner. Put like that, it doesn’t sound so bad – but if you’re wanting sex outside your relationship and it’s not agreed upon beforehand, you’re going to have a problem!


  • “Have sex with someone who’s not your partner; sex is something I believe should only be done with your partner.” – 25, Singapore
  • “Prefer to have intimate relationship with someone else; women usually only have intimate contact with people they like or love” – 21, Japan
  • “Keep thinking about a person who’s not your partner; only important people would keep showing up in your mind” – 28, France
  • “Thinking about someone else while having sex; that’s just unacceptable for me” – 24, France
  • “Doesn’t feel like touching your partner anymore because you’re being attracted by someone else; you might not take that as cheating yet but tbh, that has already shown that your heart has been stolen” – 25, Sweden
  • “Dreaming or thinking of having a second or new lover; that counts as emotional cheating for me” – 27, UK
  • “Having sexual fantasies about a third person; what else could be defined as cheating if it’s not” – 30, Hong Kong


35% define cheating as hanging around with someone of the opposite sex who isn’t your partner and keeping it a secret. These are more focused on the ‘emotion’ side of cheating. What do you think? Can guys and girls be friends without sexual contact or an emotional connection?


  • “If she hangs out with a male alone without informing me; I couldn’t think of another situation if there isn’t even a notice about that” – 29, UK
  • “Over relying on a person besides me and her family I think; you would only rely on people who you have deep linkage with” – 28, UK
  • “Flirting with the others; even flirting means that you are fancy of someone already” – 25, Japan
  • “Having sex with a third person lol; I guess there’s nothing to elaborate on that” – 21, Hong Kong
  • “Continuous and endless texting with someone; I guess you won’t do that with someone you have no special feeling on?” – 21, Hong Kong
  • “Emotionally attached to someone else; the emotional part is even more serious than the physical part in terms of cheating.” – 28, Spain
  • “Using dating apps; so that literally means that he/she wants to date someone else” – 19, South Korea
  • “Emotionally attracted by someone else; physical is still fine but if there’s an emotion attracted part, there’s no way back” – 28, Italy
  • “Sending naked or sexual messages or pictures to the others; it’s not necessary to be some physical contacts in reality, the virtual world could be a medium for cheating too” – 29, Japan
  • someone if you already have a bf or gf? lol” – 22, Hong Kong
  • “Being too close to an opposite sex friend or person; I believe that a reasonable distance should be kept” – 29, Hong Kong
  • “When you are emotionally connected to a person who is neither your family member nor close friend; is it possible that a random person could trigger you emotionally?” – 29, UK
  • “Talking about things that are too personal and private to a stranger; I guess it takes time and effort to build up that kind of bonding?” – 24, Japan
  • “Sending personal gifts for someone who is not a kid, relative or good friends; I mean sending gifts as a group of people is totally fine but when it comes to a 1-on-1 situation, sending gifts is nothing necessary I believe” – 21, South Korea
  • “Meeting up with ex-boyfriend/girlfriend; if there’s no hate between them, only love would make them meet up again except for accidental situations” – 26, France
  • “Complaining about your partners with someone else, especially with an opposite person; so what now, trying to let that person know that you have an unqualified partner and he or she has a chance?” – 23, Hong Kong
  • “Having a secret friend; if that “friend” is just a normal friend, why does he/she have to be that secret?” – 27, Spain



27% define cheating is by actually being caught in the act or having physical touching with someone else. Not sure I agree with that – there’s a lot more that goes on except just being caught!

  • “Being caught on bed I guess; no excuse and fact is shown in eyes” – 24, Hong Kong
  • “Having close physical contact; is that necessary though lol” – 26, Hong Kong
  • “Trying to include a third party in a relationship; besides your children and family members for sure” – 22, Hong Kong
  • “Having physical intimacy with someone outside the relationship; it makes no sense if you are touching someone who you are not interested in at all” – 30, Hong Kong
  • “Having intimate conversation with someone else; words exchange could already be a main source of cheating” – 21, Hong Kong
  • “Spending a night with someone else alone; would you believe that a clean sheet would be kept throughout the whole night lmao” – 24, Hong Kong
  • “Getting private and inappropriate areas touched; if anyone could touch those areas, why don’t you ask everyone to touch? lmao” – 30, US
  • “Staying at the home of a person of different sex; what’s the thing that has to be done at the others’ home and impossible to perform at other places?” – 27, UK
  • “When it comes to kiss; that’s the bottom line for me” – 24, US
  • “Sending naked or sexual messages or pictures to the others; it’s not necessary to be some physical contacts in reality, the virtual world could be a medium for cheating too” – 29, Japan
  • “Making out with someone else lol; I guess that’s the common standard” – 31, Hong Kong
  • “Even having cybersex with someone; it’s basically having sex with a third party” – 29, US
  • “Sleeping with a third party; well, I’ve never slept with someone I don’t like lol” – 19, Hungary


18% define cheating as going behind the back of your partner, destroying trust and the emotional connection.

  • “Breaking the rules of trust between the two; because it’s all about commitment and trust between the two in a relationship” – 31, US
  • “Doing something behind your partner’s back with a person of different sex; having things done under the table means that what you can see with your eyes are not the complete facts” – 25, UK
  • “Hiding things in front of your partner for a third party; if there is nothing inappropriate, why does he or she have to lie?” – 29, France
  • “When explicit lying exists; you wouldn’t have the lie if you haven’t done anything bad I guess” – 23, Hong Kong
  • “Hmmmmm I think maybe using apps like Tinder or CMB?; Is there any necessity to date
  • “Clubbing, without a single doubt; cuz you could literally do anything with anyone there” – 25, Singapore
  • “Not being honest; people only hide things that they think are not appropriate” – 34, France
  • “Breaking promise between the two for a person outside the relationship; which means that the person is way more crucial than the promise being made” – 26, Hong Kong
  • “Refuse to admit that you’re in a relationship in front of the others; means that she no longer wants to be officially a couple with you and the reason could possibly be one of those people” – 27, France


Finally, 6% define cheating as heading to strip clubs, having secret money spending habits and visiting sex workers!

  • “Heading to a strip club without telling me; the only possible reason is that he/she is trying to do or has ready done something bad” – 29, Japan
  • “Visiting a sex worker; paid or unpaid, doesn’t matter” – 25, Hong Kong
  • “Having secret money spending habit; it’s okay to spend money and having a regular habit on that, but when it is secret and couldn’t be explained, there’s a problem with that” – 27, Hong Kong


So, how do YOU define cheating? Are you surprised at any of these reasons and definitions? Let us know!

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