***Disclaimer: while these responses are from real men, they may not reflect the values of Kossie. This is sensitive content, so please be aware!***

 

BDSM includes bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism & masochism (S&M). The terms are lumped together that way because BDS Msex can be a lot of different things to different people with different preferences. While intimidating to some, incorporating some BDSM into your bedroom life can be super exciting. You can start of slow with a little bit of blindfolding and using a small paddle, or you can get really into it and see what the internet has to offer in terms of naughty items for your use!

 

Everyone can enjoy BDSM sex, but it’s what you feel comfortable with. Do you prefer being more dominant in bed? Or do you prefer to be submissive, turned on by what someone is doing to you? We asked 50 men whether they preferred being dominance or submission, and also WHY they enjoy BDSM in the first place. Strap yourself in (literally)!

 

A good percentage of men 22% liked BDSM because they liked to be submissive in bed with their partners, in a change from their usual habits.

 

  • “Submissive, just try to take a different role from the real-life” – 30, Germany
  • “Submissive, it’s like a special treat to me and my partner” – 24, South Korea
  • “Submissive, it’s good to be the submissive side sometimes as you could throw your brain away for a while” – 24, Japan
  • “Submissive, trying something new is never a bad thing” – 24, Sweden
  • “Submissive, switching roles with my partner could add that sense of freshness between us” – 20, Hong Kong
  • “Submissive, bringing fairness into bed is crucial, that we would actually keep switching the role, but the submissive role is something not so common to be seen on me, yet, I do enjoy to take that in bed” – 27, US
  • “Submissive, I could let go of the stereotype and enjoy the sex that I truly want” – 24, Hong Kong
  • “Submissive – it feels good for me to take the submissive role and being controlled” – 19, Hong Kong
  • “Submissive, sometimes it feels good to forget life for a bit!” 29, USA
  • “Dominant, BDSM could make me forget about the things that are happening in reality and just to focus on the things happening on the bed” – 29, South Korea
  • d to be the one who just follows the instruction instead of initiating everything” – 23, UK

 

Control seems to be a bit part of what makes a man want to be dominant during BDSM, with 4% of men we spoke to citing this as their reason.

 

  • “Dominant, it feels good to be a dominator on the bed” – 29, Hong Kong
  • “Dominant, who doesn’t like being given the power to control everything?” – 21, US
  • “Dominant, it could bring me the sense of conquering” – 24, Italy
  • “Dominant, oh, because I love to take control of everything, even sex” – 34, Germany

 

18% of men like to practice BDSM sex because it builds more chemistry and trust between themselves and their partners!

 

  • “Dominant, it’s bringing way more things for us to try” – 28, France
  • “Submissive, oh, it is all about curiosity and exploring” – 28, UK
  • “Dominant, BDSM is making our relationship closer as it requires more conversation” – 32, Spain
  • “Submissive, it’s a team game and chemistry could be built between us” – 29, Singapore
  • “Dominant, the continuous boundary and limit-pushing is helping us to build trust between each other” – 35, France
  • “Dominant, it could keep refreshing our relationship” – 26, Hong Kong
  • “Submissive, trust is a key part of BDSM and it could definitely increase the level of trust during the process” – 28, Japan
  • “Dominant, got a feel of being trusted completely” – 29, Macau
  • “Dominant, BDSM is like solving problem together which is always a positive thing for couples” – 28, UK

 

 

A fair percentage of men (10%) say they enjoy BDSM because their partner enjoys it…

 

  • “Dominant, my wife is responsive and it does enhance the level of my enjoyment” – 34, France
  • “Dominant, my girl feels like it and it makes me feel her trust in me” – 25, UK
  • ‘Submissive, because my girl loves it, and if she enjoys, her reaction could make me enjoy too” – 26, US
  • “Dominant, my partner and I love rough sex, and BDSM is a way to” – 24, France
  • “Dominant, her willingness would make me feel that she’s willing to give her whole person to me” – 29, Italy

 

Not surprisingly, 26% of men enjoy BDSM because it can feel so damn good – for both partners!

 

  • “Submissive, it just feels good” – 26, Hong Kong
  • “Dominant, a bit of pain play does increase the intensity of sex” – 24, Japan
  • “Submissive, I also enjoy the sensation as a men” – 32, Hong Kong
  • “Dominant, it’s just a type of sex and we all love sex” – 22, Japan
  • “Dominant, the intensity in BDSM sex is just another level” – 24, Hong Kong
  • “Dominant, you could have your whole body enjoy the sex”, 21, Greece
  • “Dominant, the look on my partner’s face during pain play just turn me on easily” – 21, South Korea
  • “Dominant, because normal sex isn’t satisfying enough for both of us, and SM just gives us the on-point sensation” – 32, UK
  • “Dominant, the harder my girl shout, the more sensation I could feel” – 30, US
  • “Dominant, it’s no longer just about your mouth, hands, and sex organs, but every single part of you and your partner, with the help of some tools and toys” – 33, Italy
  • “Dominant, it’s not a weird thing, just a normal thing that makes both of us feel good and that’s why we love it” – 31, Spain
  • “Dominant, there’re a wide range of tools that you could pick for BDSM, you never get bored” – 34, US
  • “Dominant, the less you have to worry about, the more you could enjoy and BDSM just allows you to maximize your level of joy.” – 24, US

 

Finally, 16% of men like BDSM because it allows them to get rid of stress they may be feeling in their daily lives and just have FUN with something exciting!

 

  • “Dominant, trying to be a bad guy in bed is exciting” – 26, US
  • “Dominant, SM could release some pressure you gained from your daily life” – 30, South Korea
  • “Dominant, like it because every BDSM sex is an unknown” – 22, Hong Kong
  • “Dominant, there is no limit, no boundary.” – 28, Hong Kong
  • “Dominant, it feels like breaking the rules” – 19, Hong Kong
  • “Dominant, it is good for stress-releasing” – 30, US
  • “Dominant, I could feel like I’m in a carefree world, that there’s no rules during BDSM sex” – 29, Indonesia
  • “Dominant, trying something new on the bed is always cool, isn’t it” – 24, Hong Kong

 

So, overall – 70% of men we surveyed prefer dominance, while 30% prefer being more submissive in bed. Are you surprised by those figures? What’s your preference? Let us know!

 

Just to reiterate, you should only EVER do what feels comfortable to you. Of course, some BDSM includes some pain, but this should turn you on – it should NEVER become violence and only carry out acts like this with someone you trust and know respects you enough to stop. This kind of sex can be super fun, but we need to make sure we are also SAFE.

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