***Disclaimer: while these are real responses from real men, they may not represent Kossie values or views. This is sensitive content so please be aware!***

Would you choose one lover or multiple lovers?

Throughout time, across TV, film and even music – and of course the real world – there is a common trope that men can’t keep it in their pants and simply cannot just have one lover for a long time. But how true is it? What is the attraction to dating more than one person, or is it to do more with strategy?

As always, we have your back and asked 50 men about their thoughts on how they view navigating the dating world…

Perhaps unsurprisingly, 30 out of 50 men (60%) of men would prefer multiple lovers, leaving just 40% wanting to have one partner only. I thought that the split would be a little more dramatic, I have to say!

These are the reasons why men want to stay polyamorous. 23% want to stay polyamorous as they prefer to keep things ‘fun’, while a further 13% think taking multiple lovers will help them to find ‘the one’.


  • “Polyamorous, the more you try, the higher chance you could meet the most ideal one” – 22, Hong Kong
  • “Polyamorous, if you don’t try, you never know who fits you” – 28, Spain
  • “Polyamorous, life should be fun and having multiple partners is fun” – 19, US
  • “Polyamorous – the sense of freshness I guess” – 25, Italy
  • “Polyamorous, maybe it’s the sense of achievement?” – 27, Hong Kong
  • “Polyamorous, people want me and I want them, so things happen” – 29, Singapore
  • “Polyamorous, why should you sacrifice the whole forest for one tree? – 24, UK
  • “Polyamorous, different people could offer you different things” – 27, France
  • “Polyamorous, you always have a chance to choose before you make the decision” – 30, Hong Kong
  • “Polyamorous, why should you limit yourself to one person if you could get along with more” – 28, Italy
  • “Polyamorous, it makes no sense if you are just getting in a relationship with just one person in your whole life” – 26, US
  • “Polyamorous, it’s not illegal, right?” – 22, South Korea
  • “Polyamorous, why not have multiple lovers if I can?” – 25, Hong Kong
  • “Polyamorous, the more people you meet, the easier you could understand what you truly want for yourself” – 29, France
  • “Polyamorous, people shouldn’t be limited by the traditional thoughts” – 23, UK
  • “Polyamorous, it’s all about having fun” – 25, South Korea
  • “Polyamorous – men did that back in old days, didn’t they?” – 30, Hong Kong
  • “Polyamorous, there’re so many types of girls in this world and each of them could bring you different type of joy” – 28, US
  • “Polyamorous, so I would never get bored” – 24, US
  • “Polyamorous, life is about exploring, isn’t it?” – 34, France
  • “Polyamorous, having multiple lovers it’s my freedom” – 24, Sweden
  • “Polyamorous, love received is never enough if you could ask for more” – 26, France
  • “Polyamorous, settling for one person before exploring the world is just too naive” – 29, Singapore
  • “Polyamorous, haven’t met a person that could make me wanna stick to her only” – 25, US
  • “Polyamorous, enjoying as much as you want if you’re capable enough is reasonable, isn’t it?” – 24, Hong Kong
  • “Polyamorous, so my different needs could be satisfied by each of them, no one is perfect after all, right?” – 28, US
  • “Polyamorous, just trying to truly live my life while I’m still young” – 19, South Korea
  • “Polyamorous, if I want someone to hang out with, there’s always someone who’s available” – 20, Hong Kong
  • “Polyamorous, people come and go, if you’re staying for the same person, you might be the one being abandoned someday, so why should you take the risk of being the lonely one?” – 28, US
  • “Polyamorous, it’s just doing things that I want and having relationship with multiple lovers/people is something I feel like to” – 28, Singapore



So, next we have the 40% of men who prefer monogamy who have the following reasons for stay with the one person. 60% think that if you’ve found ‘your person’, you should stay loyal and not look for more, while 25% believe that being polyamorous is too tiring and too much effort!


  • “Monogamous, if that’s the one you want, why should you look for the next one?” – 23, Hong Kong
  • “Monogamous, the most important thing of getting in a relationship is to stay with the one you love” – , 24, France
  • “Monogamous, one life, one love” – 24, Hong Kong
  • “Monogamous, if that’s the one you love, you don’t really have to look for a second one” – 30, Spain
  • “Monogamous, loyalty, period.” – 32, Singapore
  • “Monogamous, it’s just too difficult to meet “THE ONE”, so if you do, you should treasure him or her” – 30, Hong Kong
  • “Monogamous, I couldn’t think of a reason to love someone else besides my wife” – 22, Hong Kong
  • “Monogamous, sometimes it just takes more attempts to make the perfect one” – 21, Japan
  • “Monogamous, a perfect one is better than ten wrong ones” – 25, UK
  • “Monogamous, because I love my girlfriend” – 22, Hong Kong
  • “Monogamous, I don’t have that much time to share with multiple partners” – 23, Singapore
  • “Monogamous, if you miss your current one, you might never be able to meet someone like him/her in the future again” – 23, Hong Kong
  • “Monogamous, it’s super time and energy consuming” – 22, Japan
  • “Monogamous, I would rather spend 100% love on one person instead of 10% for 10 people” – 35, Hong Kong
  • “Monogamous, I cannot see the necessity to share my time with someone else apart from my wife” – 27, Italy
  • “Monogamous, my girlfriend has given me enough love” – 21, France
  • “Monogamous, because I love my girl and she loves me” – 23, Spain
  • “Monogamous, having one partner is tiring enough for me lmao” – 21, Hong Kong
  • “Monogamous, the commitment and the love between us are strong enough” – 26, Japan
  • “Monogamous, it doesn’t enhance your reputation to have more than one partner” – 30, Indonesia

If this ratio has worried you, remember that you should only be with someone if it is serving you – you don’t need to be in a position where you can potentially get hurt. Don’t forget though, it works both ways. YOU can take more than one lover, if the mood takes you – and why not go with multiple lovers? Speaking to or even sleeping with multiple people at once can be thrilling and exciting, plus the fact that you’re figuring out what you like. Go for it, girl!

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