The Importance of Self Compassion

Last time, I opened up about my huge emotional setback in my founder’s letter. During my self-discovery journey, I started to notice that I am being way too harsh on myself. I kept asking myself why I would react this way? I learned that I am absolutely not a people-pleaser and I tend to do things in my own way. Even if other people either judge how I work or question my thinking, my self-esteem doesn’t easily get affected by their criticism or judgement. I guess I usually take it as constructive feedback to help me make a better decision in the future. It sounds pretty awesome, doesn’t it?

BUT I am telling you, it doesn’t! I found out the only critic that does affect my inner peace ironically, is my own voice. That annoying voice beats me up non-stop! I don’t know when I became my own worst critic. I used to berate myself on how I could spend 15 minutes of scrolling Instagram achieving nothing, rather than doing my damn job! You and I both know that our worthiness isn’t based on how many boxes we’ve ticked off on our to-do list.

Luckily, I am now learning how to be gentle with my own voice and understand the importance of self compassion for myself.

 

#1. Deep Breathe with Essential Oils

I am taking my mental health more seriously since I am selling mental health for living. It would be a big joke if I don’t even practice mindfulness, right? I now practice self-connection meditation at Enhale every Wednesday. I remember when I first met my meditation teacher, she sensed that I was lacking in self-compassion, so she created a special blend for me. It’s a mixture of geranium that represents self-love and fennel which can ease anxiety. Whenever I catch myself being trapped in that toxic self-talking loop, I will give myself few drops on my palm, then take few deep breaths.

Inhale C-O-M-P-A-S-S-I-O-N.

Exhale N-E-G-A-T-I-V-E self-talking.

Repeat x 3.

 

#2. Self compassion Meditation

I discovered there’s a meditation that helps you connect with your own self compassion*. It’s pretty similar to breathing exercises but added with visualisation.

What you have to do is:

  1. Close your eyes, take few deep breaths and bring your attention to the present.
  2. Visualise someone whom you love unconditionally. It could be someone that no matter what they do to you, you would forgive them. That kind of person. Imagine he/she is hugging you under a dreamy pink sky.
  3. Lay both hands on top of your heart. Feel the love from them. Connect the compassion within yourself.
  4. Take another deep breath. When you’re ready, slowly open your eyes and bring attention back to the room.

Sometimes, I will put on a Korean face mask and do this with the special oil blend inside a steam room before a shower. Bonus tips for optimising your time! HA!

*I learned it from the book named ‘The Expectation Hangover’. 100% recommend it if you tend to be disappointed by expectation.

 

#3. Write a Letter to Your Future Self 

Journaling has become part of my mindfulness ritual. I write a letter to my future self from time to time. I don’t write about what kind of success I’d like to see myself to achieve. It’s all about the learning curve – giving yourself time and space to learn. So, I write about what I’ve accepted and what I’d like to improve in order to be a better version of myself which is a important part for self compassion .

 

#4. Nourish Your Body 

In the first few tips, I’ve focused more on nourishing your mind, but you also have to nourish your body at the same time. Your thoughts and feelings can be positively or negatively affected by your physical body, so you have to build a good relationship between these two by simply having a healthy diet. If you don’t love your own body, how can you expect your body to love you, right?

*Click here to see 3 Ways to Take Charge of Your Mind and Body Connection

 

#5. “I’ve had ENOUGH!”

I struggle with feelings of inadequacy. You know, no matter what I’ve achieved in my past, I still feel like there’s something missing in my life. I’m not sure whether it’s related to the culture that we’ve grown into – ‘a culture of more’. We don’t necessarily appreciate what we have, so we tend to crave for more, and more. So, it’s always good to remind ourselves that “We’ve had enough!”

 

#6. Practice Self-awareness

 My last tip is to be more self-aware of WHEN negative self-talking starts. I believe the different types of negative self-talk is different from one person to another, but you can feel that kind of energy would drag you down. So then, you have to recognise that kind of dark, negative energy and focus on how, when and why it happens. The more you learn about the energy itself, the more you are able to change this toxic pattern. Remember, the power is YOU!


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