If you’ve ever had a relationship problem that felt like you’re misunderstanding your partner and relationship, your online search for answers has likely led you to the “What is your love language?” quiz at some point. The phrase has been around since Dr Gary Chapman released his popular relationship book, The Five Love Languages.
Now well known to millions, the five love languages are quality time, physical touch, acts of service, giving and receiving gifts, and words of affirmation.
Taking a quiz like this can be really helpful in figuring out the person you are, as well as the kind of person best suited to you in a relationship. But what about your SEX language? You may get on with a person, but what if you’re not compatible in bed?
Take our quiz below to find out if which sex language you speak…
The 5 Sex Languages
Which sentence sounds more like you? Don’t worry if you identify with more than one of these options – you can click through anyway, we’re all different!
Your biggest concern in the bedroom is feeling close to your sexual partner. The idea of meaningless sex fills you with dread and you would rather stay in and snuggle rather than having a hot date. This is fine – and emotional connections within sex are important, but make sure that your partners feel the same, otherwise you could be hurt. Did you know, you can have an emotional connection with yourself in your own sexual practice? If you’re struggling to find someone who doesn’t want just a quick hook-up, have a go at developing this.
Desire & Sensuality
It’s all about the mood and looks for you! Things have to be perfect and you’re often found searching for the hottest lingerie as that is something you wear to get yourself ‘in the mood’. While emotional connections are less important for you, you need to have that animal desire and if it’s not there, you’re not interested. A downside to this is that sex isn’t always perfect – it’s messy, embarrassing and doesn’t always go to plan. Don’t let this put you off – embrace it!
You don’t really care who it’s with, or where – but you won’t settle for anything less than pleasure for yourself. And okay, I guess your partner too! This is a great stance to have, especially when considering the orgasm gap, but putting too much pressure on a partner to perform (or even putting too much pressure on yourself!) can spoil the mood. Try to think of sex and pleasure as a ‘whole’ rather than just the end goal of an orgasm.
Fun & Energetic
Anything goes for you – the more fun and exciting the better! You’re so adventurous and your partners are over the moon as you introduce them to new and exciting things. This is a great sex language to speak – if it’s true, what you want, and it’s not performative. It’s okay to sometimes want some lazy missionary – not everything has to be a three-ring circus and you don’t have to always outdo yourself. Relax and see what happens when you’re a bit more laidback about sex.
You think your best sex is when your partner(s) are taking control and you’re basically at their mercy. While there’s nothing wrong with this, being the one who is always having sex ‘done to’ them can sometimes not work with how turned on your are and when you want sex. If you’re looking to spice things up in the bedroom, surprise your partner (and yourself) by taking the lead.
Which sex language are you? Are you surprised at which one you got?