We’re on a mission to provide an affordable channel to boost your mental health. So, each week, we’re checking in with our community to see how they’re working on their mental health and their goal towards happiness. We invited to Saed Alami, Relationship Coach to share us some tips to cope with “ghosting”.
Q: “Every guy I talk to/date is always super interested at first, but always after a few months they stop messaging, and say they aren’t interested anymore. What should I do?”
A: “You need to understand an important foundation first. You cannot change a person, people’s reactions, people’s criticism. The moment you realise that you are not getting the outcome you want, you only have one option, to look inward and start analysing and understanding yourself.
The second important foundation is to understand that the degree to which you love and value yourself, is the degree to which others will love and value you.
A very common scenario around “ghosting” happens to many girls that entertain guys that they shouldn’t be interacting with.
Now building on this idea of loving and valuing yourself, you need to set personal standards for yourself. You need to decide what are the characteristics and values of my ideal partner, and then not tolerate anything less than that! When you get rid of distractions and interactions that don’t align with you, you will create the love and space you need to attract the guy that won’t stop messaging you.
There are so many exercises out there and it can get really confusing and or overwhelming to figure out which ones to use. I will break it down for you right here and now. Number 1 is to ground yourself in the morning. Who do you want to be? What is important to you? What are your values? What is your mission? Remember yourself of the person you want to show up as.
Number 2 is an evening practise to close the day. Journaling! Journal and ask yourself, what could I do better tomorrow? What did I do great? What am I grateful for?
The ability to see your thought on a piece of paper helps you take a step back and assess your life in a clearer way.
Number 3 is for happiness and fulfilment. Feel your heartbeat and feel the space around you. We are a generation of thinking, distractions and doing stuff quickly. Feel where you are and be there fully. Practise this as much as you can throughout the day.” – Saed Alami, Relationship Coach
If you’re struggling to find fulfilment in your love life, feel free to find Saed via Instagram.