What Is Your Sexual Confidence Level?

It may be news to you, but sexual confidence is not about being ‘good’ in bed (whatever that means). It's not about having the perfect body and it certainly doesn't come from just having a lot of sex!

Whilst sexual confidence does mean different things to different people, at its core, sexual confidence is about feeling comfortable in your body, knowing you deserve pleasure and being able to articulate what you enjoy - as well as listening to the needs of your sexual partner.   We spoke to Cory B, Sex Educator and Kink Coach on what sexual confidence should feel like. Here’s what she said…  

“Feeling confident in your sexuality is all about feeling empowered in your choices and desires as an autonomous human being. It’s about knowing that your desires are valid and your pleasure is important. It’s about convincing yourself that you deserve to be a sexual being no matter how public or private your sex life is.”

  So, where do you sit on the scale of sexual confidence? Remember, just because you’re not particularly confident, it doesn’t mean that it is something to worry about. Sometimes, these things come over time and getting there is half the fun!   You may feel worried and anxious and even ashamed when considering sexual activity, whether on your own or with another person. Cory says: “Sometimes when we feel shame around our sexuality, we respond with more shame: “You shouldn’t feel embarrassed about that.” “Grow up!”. Throwing more shame on to shame is like adding fuel to a fire. Instead, show yourself compassion when you feel your confidence waive. Know that sexuality is fluid and some days are better than others.”  

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