We’re on a mission to provide an affordable channel to boost your mental health. So, each week, we’re checking in with our community to see how they’re working on their mental health and their goal towards happiness. We invited toElena Macovei, Relationship Coach to share some tips on how to build your self-esteem.
Q: “I have been single one year, tried to work on myself but ended up using dating apps and now I feel worse than before. I feel like you can’t meet genuine or consistent people on it and so it damaged my self-esteem and my general mental health. I feel like I have trusted some guys too early and ended up getting attached quickly and hurt even quicker…what should I do?”
A: “We are living in unprecedented times. Through the power of the internet, we are now more connected than ever. Yet it often feels like connecting on a deeper level has become more challenging.
Unfortunately, dating apps are often overrun with individuals looking for a “quick romance”. It can be discouraging when we keep experiencing inconsistent and shallow encounters.
The most powerful way to rebuild your self-esteem and confidence is to date yourself. You read that right. It’s cliche, but it’s the most powerful thing you can do for yourself. Delete the dating apps. Date and fall in love with yourself first. Hear me out. This will allow you to discover who you are, what your needs are in a relationship, and what you want in an ideal partner.
Cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself first. Learn how to trust yourself. When we don’t trust ourselves, we give away our power by placing our trust in people who are not deserving of it.
Building a relationship with yourself and increasing your self-esteem requires commitment and consistency.
Here are some things you can do to help build your self-esteem:
- Make yourself a priority. You are the main character of your life after all. Cook healthy meals for yourself. Try to exercise for at least 30 minutes a few times a week.
- Identify the things you enjoy doing that you are good and nurture those parts of yourself. Try something new or pick up an old hobby you used to love doing.
- Journal daily and reflect on the things that bring you joy. Focus on the positive and the things that are going well.
- Watch your self-talk. It is easy to criticise and beat ourselves up over our mistakes. Instead of indulging the negative self-talk, interrupt the pattern and celebrate your wins. No matter how small. Imagine you are a small child, practice talking to yourself with compassion.
- Spend time with friends who leave you feeling energised instead of drained. People who don’t treat you well shouldn’t have a place in your life. True friends will listen, encourage, and support you when you need it.
Don’t try to incorporate everything all at once. You will burn yourself out. Make and keep one small promise to yourself each day.
These conscious choices will add up, creating positive changes in your life. As your awareness increases, your capacity for self-love and acceptance will grow. As a result, you will radiate the confidence to attract ideal partners that meet your needs. It is only through loving ourselves that we are able to love another.
Give yourself the love you are looking for right now. You deserve it.” -Elena Macovei, Relationship Coach
If you’re struggling with your love life, feel free to join ‘Conscious Relationship Coaching Program’ via Instagram.