We’re on a mission to provide an affordable channel to boost your mental health. So, each week, we’re checking in with our community to see how they’re working on their mental health and their goal towards happiness. We invited to Jerry Souter, Love & Relationship Coach to share us some tips on how to cope with relationship anxiety.
Q: “I’ve been having bad relationships over the past couple of years, usually from guys who only seem to want casual relationships. I had anxiety due to the lack of communication and it has really affected my mental health and I was looking for guidance into how to deal with the whole situation.”
A: “It sounds like bad relationships are a symptom of the anxiety, rather than the underlying cause.
I’m not saying bad relationships don’t happen (they do) or that bad partners aren’t out there (they are). But when they become a pattern in our lives to the point where it’s affecting our mental health, then we may need to look at ourselves for the answer.
When we externalise our self-worth based on someone else’s behavior, it’s a recipe for unhappiness.
So, even though my clients come to me wanting to find the perfect partner, what they need to get into a loving relationship is to renovate their relationship with themselves.
3 practices to build your self-love:
1.Make a list of all the things that make you an amazing partner. Anything and everything that you offer in a potential partnership! Post the list somewhere you will read it out loud every day.
2. Make a list of everything you can think of that you love about yourself. Read your list out loud in front of a mirror. You can also record it on your phone so that you have it available to play it to yourself every single morning.
3. Look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself at least three compliments about your physical beauty. If this is something you struggle with, try to go above and beyond, maybe give yourself 10 compliments, and take a moment to just sit there and look at yourself, and then give yourself these beauty compliments again.” – Jerry Souter, Love & Relationship Coach