We’re on a mission to provide an affordable channel to boost your mental health. So, each week, we’re checking in with our community to see how they’re working on their mental health and their goal towards happiness. We invited to Thea Robnett, Sex & Relationship Coach, to share us tips and advice to help boost your libido.
Q: “I have 0 sex drive basically since my traumatic birth and being on anti-depressants. What should I do?”
A: “First of all, I’m so sorry you had a traumatic birthing experience; birth is a major life event and I believe many moms feel invalidated around their birth experiences as long as ‘baby is safe and healthy.’ So first I want to validate you and tell you I understand how much of a life impact giving birth is. Once you give birth, society expects women to jump right back into the normal routine many times including household duties, taking care of the baby and working and even if you don’t personally feel impacted by these societal pressures, it can be discouraging seeing people who 1. Look like they are doing just that and 2. When we are inundated by social media with moms who look like they have it all together/figured out.
Being on anti-depressants can affect your sex drive; traumatic birth can affect your sex drive, and can cause anxiety after trauma to your body and mind. Give yourself some grace and ‘of course’ yourself, meaning, affirm and validate yourself around all the reasons why you wouldn’t have a sex drive to start.
Then, slowly incorporate sensuality back into your life. View and touch your body, start to cultivate arousal within yourself by really getting in touch with you and who you are, and fantasise about how you want to feel in your body (again). Gradually, with your partner, incorporate sensual touch, maybe a massage or a hot makeout session. You can build over time to doing things such as oral sex on each other, using lube and fingers to gently touch around your vulva (maybe he/she doesn’t penetrate you with fingers for a while). Always work around your comfortability and communicate.
You can ALWAYS try to go a bit further and back off if you are feeling any pain or discomfort. The goal is to cultivate arousal within yourself again by spending some time acquainting yourself with YOU, figuring out what turns you on, communicating and then moving toward that goal as long as you are medically safe to do so! It personally took me time to feel comfortable and so what you are experiencing is normal.” – Thea Robnett, Sex & Relationship Coach
If you’re struggling to nurture intimacy in any relationship, reach out to Thea via Instagram.