We’re on a mission to provide an affordable channel to boost your mental health. So, each week, we’re checking in with our community to see how they’re working on their mental health and their goal towards happiness. We invited to Dana Sedlak, Self-Love Coach and Therapist to share us some tips on boost your self-love.
Q: “Having come out of a relationship I now feel the need to be in one again and not to be dependent on someone. I’m aware of this, so I’m trying to learn to love my own company and focus on my own goals. What should I do?”
A: “It makes so much sense for you to feel a bit of hesitation to be independent when we are so often taught that being in a relationship is superior in many ways. You have made such a powerful decision to reconnect to your own truth instead of entering another romantic relationship and skipping this part of the healing process. That is something worth celebrating! I believe that post-relationships provide us with the best space to truly begin to reflect on what it is that we want for ourselves, our lives, and our future relationships that we might have been ignoring or suppressing previously. If you find yourself leaning towards dependency or co-dependency at times, it is even more beneficial for you to now see yourself as a separate entity from others without their dreams/desires becoming your own. Your self-love journey gets to begin once you understand that you are whole and entirely worthy on your own.
Here are 3 ways to get started:
- Write a list of all the things that were missing or lacking within your romantic relationship. Next, identify 1 way you can work towards giving each of those to yourself. You will begin to feel empowered after rebuilding trust with yourself and your ability to provide yourself with what you need instead of looking for this externally.
- Go back to basics. Ask yourself what are some of the things that you love deeply (i.e. waking up early to get the day started, blasting your favorite genre of music) and commit to incorporating at least one of these into your daily routine. This will help you foster your connection to the things that bring you joy so you are less likely to deny them in the future.
- Practice self-compassion. What are the ways in which your inner-critic is creating a story about who you are and why your relationship ended? Begin to look at how these thoughts might have turned into deeper beliefs about yourself that have become barriers to you creating a relationship with yourself that is built around self-love. The more compassion that you can experience, the better your foundation will be in knowing yourself and relying on yourself. This will help to decrease the need to return to a relationship for reasons that do not feel healthy or coming from a place of true authenticity.” – Dana Sedlak, Self-Love Coach and Therapist
If you want to learn how to practice self-love, feel free to visit Dana via Instagram.