We’re on a mission to provide an affordable channel to boost your mental health. So, each week, we’re checking in with our community to see how they’re working on their mental health and their goal towards happiness. We invited toLiz Riley Christiano, Love Coach to share us some tips on some insights into a brand-new relationship.
Q: “I’m confused as to whether I want to be with my new partner…what should I do?”
A: “We can spend so much time at the beginning of a relationship thinking about the future. “Where is this going?” “Am I with the right person?” It’s so common to find someone new, and to start to play out all of the future scenarios. But really, every relationship is an invitation into ourselves, and into the present.
With my clients, we reframe the questions to put them at the center. Instead of asking, “Should I be with this person?” try asking the question, “Do I like who I am when I am with this person?” Sometimes we can really like someone, and realise we fall apart around them. And other times we can be lukewarm on someone, but realise we’ve been feeling amazing since getting together. Make yourself the center of your question: How do I like the version of me who shows up around this new partner?
Most importantly, remember that saying yes in the present moment is not a yes forever. If you feel safe, respected, and like you can trust your partner, let yourself say yes fully, enjoy these early moments without worrying about what comes next, and know that you are always allowed to change your mind.
3 things you can try right now:-
1 – Take a walk and notice as many beautiful things as possible. Notice any little thing that catches your eye (a flower, a cloud, anything). See if you can enjoy it for a few seconds, really take it in. This will help with grounding, and when we are grounded, lots of the things we spin about in our minds just magically make more sense.
2 – When you are with your partner, take moments to slow down and engage your senses. Feel a soft fabric, smell something nice, taste delicious food, carefully listen to birds or a piece of music. All of these little things will help get you into your body and make all of your questions a little clearer.
3 – Finally, use this new relationship as an opportunity to be really honest about what you want. Practice sharing things you like, making plans for what you like to do, and speaking up when you don’t enjoy something. You being your full, radiant self is something a partner should love, and if it pushes the person away, that is likely a gift.” – Liz Riley Christiano, Love Coach