When you receive criticism, it’s not a very nice feeling. Whether it’s constructive or not, no one likes to be told that their behaviour or work isn’t good enough or not up to standard. Sometimes, criticism can really affect your self-esteem and knock your confidence. However, usually there is a lesson in criticism if you can find it – but how do you avoid taking it so personally? We spoke to Morgan Bullock, Author and Life Coach about how to stop taking things so to heart.    

1.  “I usually get anxious when a feedback meeting is approaching. My manager is such a straight-shooter and can be quite harsh sometimes. So, how can I feel less stressed about the meeting? Without thinking I’m not good enough?”

    Morgan: Feedback meetings can always be a little stressful especially with straight-shooting managers. The best way to go into the meeting is to:
  1. Understand that it’s not personal - your manager has a job to do as well and is probably stressed about their feedback meeting
  2. Know who you are and the work you do. If you are confident in your work ethic and how you produce for your team then stand boldly, willing to defend yourself in your projects.
  3. Be ready and willing to take responsibility for any shortcomings. If you know that you dropped the ball at one point or another, going into the conversation ready and willing to take ownership puts you in the driver’s seat, sometimes catching your manager off guard
  4. Have questions and feedback for your manager. Look at this as an opportunity to have a conversation. It does not have to be a managerial scolding but a collaborative meeting where both parties are heard.

2. “I found out from another friend, that a very good friend of mine talked shi*t behind my back… I feel betrayed, I feel sad and I feel disappointed in her. It’s been bothering quite a while. How can I move on?”

    Morgan: As hard as it can be to realise someone you trusted betrayed you, the silver lining is knowing that a toxic friend is no longer around. In times of betrayal or breakups, focusing on and visualising the types of people you want in your life and the characteristics you are now going to require help you to realise how much that person needed to exit your life and allow you to focus on a more positive future instead of a hurtful past. Remember that you are a great friend deserving of someone who is trustworthy.

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