Sex Affirmations For You This Month

Being sexually liberated is not only about respecting others’ sexual choices and desires, it is also understanding and reflecting on our own.

For us women living in today’s society however, being sexually liberated could appear to narrow-minded people as being “easy” or “open”, and is often associated with words that deliberately downgrade women and our sexual desires.

Sexual liberation should be about having the autonomy to choose our sexual partners and activities and when we feels comfortable.

This week, we bring to you 12 empowering sex affirmations featuring sex educators and advocates based on your star sign:

 

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

 

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

 

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

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✨ Anytime I’ve found myself in a relationship, something I enjoy doing with my partner is playing video games. It’s a fun activity, it bonds us, builds communication skills, and teaches us about each other. I absolutely love it. Now, if someone were to tell me that since I’m seeing someone, I'm ONLY allowed to play video games as a partnered activity, that I’d have to give up sitting cozy on the couch wrapped up in my favorite blanket playing Animal Crossing by myself on my Nintendo Switch, I’d think they were out of their damn mind. Yet, if you think about it, this is how so many of us have been conditioned to treat sex and masturbation, while we’re in relationships. That for some reason, once you start dating someone and having partnered sex, you should be saying sayonara to solo sex. The fact of the matter is that masturbation and sex do not have to be and should not be in competition with each other, and can actually be complementary to one another. Solo sex and partnered sex fulfill different needs and desires, and masturbation doesn't diminish or take anything away from partnered sex — on the contrary actually. Masturbation provides so much for us. On a personal level, it can help us assert our sexual autonomy, connect to our bodies and sensuality, and actually improve our mental and physical health. It also benefits our partnerships and our partnered sex. Being confident in our sexual selves, knowing our bodies, preferences, kinks, desires, turn-ons, and paths to orgasm, will translate to improvements in our partnered sex, because if we don't know what we like, how will our partners know? PS. If you’re quarantined with a partner(s) right now, make sure you are offering each other the time, privacy, and ENCOURAGEMENT, to masturbate! What is something masturbation/solo sex has taught you about yourself, your body, your desire, etc? Tell me in the comments! [Image description in alt-text]

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Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

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“You know what they say…happy wife, happy life.” This phrase is commonplace in the media, and even among our friends and family members. But is there validity to this phrase? Is it reflective of a healthy, balanced, and happy relationship? As increasing numbers of friends get married, this phrase has become even more of a broken record to me. There’s always that one wedding guest who has to offer this piece of “wisdom” to the couple. For me, this phrase reinforces the idea that one partner is responsible for another’s happiness—and that only that partner’s happiness matters. It’s another way to say, “My way or the highway.” AKA, accept your partner’s needs and meet them, or get out and/or live an unhappy, miserable life. This phrase, even with intentional humor, offers no room for negotiation, discussion, or holding space for each other. It doesn’t encourage communication or discussions about boundaries, desires, disagreements, or a shared vision. It encourages the potential for unnecessary competition and resentment, if it doesn’t exist already. Relationships, no matter their stage, will never be perfectly balanced. It’s never going to be equally split down the middle. One week might be 60/40, while another might be 40/60–that’s just the reality of life. It’s also why partners need to have the skills to communicate through these moments of inequality so that the relationship’s vision and needs, as well as individual partners’ needs, can still be fulfilled. #SexELD #sexELDucation

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Leo (July 23 – August 22)

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Next up in our series of foundational talks to have with your kids at every age: Bodily Autonomy & Consent. . Children’s bodies are often regarded as their parents’ property. Parents decide who touches their child, when, and for what reason. In reality, children develop their own feelings about controlling their bodies from a very young age and should be encouraged to articulate their boundaries, knowing they will be respected and valued. When we teach our children that others decide who’s in control of their bodies, they begin to silence their inner voices that communicate discomfort and learn that consent doesn’t really matter. These lessons will stay with them for life. . FOR KIDS OF ALL AGES… . ▪️Normalizing communication around touch isn’t an awkward formality, it establishes expectations they will carry into future relationships. Asking first requires your child to practice considering their authentic wants in a lower-stress environment so they can feel confident in their skills when the pressure and stakes are higher. . WITH YOUNG KIDS… . ▪️Consent isn’t always possible (diaper changes, car seats, etc.). At times like these, calmly communicate that it’s your job to keep them safe and healthy and that the task is necessary but will end shortly. Acknowledge their resistance and narrate what you’re doing so there’s total transparency. . ▪️Provide opportunities for kids to request and refuse touch on their own terms and freely state their preferences. . AS KIDS GET OLDER… . ▪️ Establish the expectation that all healthy relationships function with consent. Emphasize stopping when others say stop. Clearly communicate (and stand firm in) your own boundaries. . ▪️Support your kids in establishing their own boundaries, especially with friends and family. Allow them to decide how they want to say goodbye (it’s okay to not hug grandma). . ▪️Support your kids in their self-expression. Fashion is a powerful assertion of autonomy. . ▪️Critique the media you consume together – did that show/movie/song demonstrate consent? How do you know? How could they have done it better? . Talk to your kids about how their bodies belongs to themselves. . #givingthetalk

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Virgo (August 23 – September 23)

 

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

 

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

 

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

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Posted @withregram • @shrimpteeth This is a difficult one to swallow but can be supportive and liberating once you’ve accepted it. Monogamy has us believe that in order to be a good partner, we must be *everything* to our pals. For me, that was always too much pressure. I hated feeling like I was letting down my pal when I failed to be everything. I would often compromise my integrity to be what they wanted even at my detriment. Turns out, that didn’t make me happy. When I was able to let go of the expectations that I was supposed to be everything, I started focusing on what I was, realizing that was plenty. And I encouraged my pal to seek out other people and connections to address unmet needs. I similarly was able to see the wonderful parts of my pal, without expecting them to be everything and found ways to fulfill unmet needs with new friends, pals, community. Not being *everything* isn’t a failure. Whatever you have to give is absolutely enough as long as it’s authentic to you. You never have to be more than you can to anyone. It’s ok if you need time to accept this, I know it took me a hot minute. Being able to communicate honestly with my pals about my strengths and weaknesses was the first step for me, hopefully it works for you too! 💜 I’m available for peer-support sessions if you want to chat about polyam/ENM, queerness, sex, love, relationships. You can schedule on my website. Link in bio ❤️💃🏻❤️💃🏻 #sexpositive #sexology #queerart #polyamorous #pride #feminist #feminism #loveyourself #love #relationship #couple #respect #lgbtq #sexuality #sexeducation #queerlove #art #artist #polyam #enm #nonmonogamy #queer #queerartist #gay #wlw #lesbian #sapphic #cauliflowerhour #shrimpteeth

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Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

 

Aquarius (January 20 – February 19)

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Since I was 16, despite knowing that my pleasure mattered to my partners, I'd be passive about what I wanted. I'd communicate through moans and movements but wouldn't speak up if I wanted them to do something different. Recently, after explicitly asking my partner for what my body was craving, I reflected on how far I've come. I feel confident and sexy saying 💋 touch me here 💋 lick/suck there 💋 let's use this toy 💋 hold me I used to think making requests would make my partners feel insecure but it's not a reflection on them (unless they are mindreaders!). My decision to ask, or not, is a reflection on whether I want to maximize my pleasure and our shared experiences. Because, great sex comes from great communication. 🗨 Do you verbally voice your desires? 🗨 If yes, what was your turning point and how has it changed your experiences? 🗨 If no, what are you waiting for? Image: maroon background with beige dots/lines. In beige, "I have learned…" in blue/green "How to voice my desires " #lessonsyaellearned #lessonsivelearned #ihavelearned #mygrowth #voiceyourdesire #askforwhatyouwant #askforpleasure #notamindreader #mindreader #sexualrelationships #desire #sexualdesire #ask #sayitoutloud #shamefree #greatsex #Doitforpleasure #sexualchemistry #sexualcommunication #pleasurematters #turningpoint #vulnerability #mybodywants #askoutloud #touchme #holdme #sexpositive #sexed #sexcoach #yaelthesexgeek

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Pisces (February 20 – March 20)

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As we continue working to unpack shame around sex so that we can live authentic, healthy, and pleasurable sex lives, remember your journey and all you've overcome so far. Know that it can get better and that with education, practice, and a trusting circle we can silence those messages that made us feel 'wrong'. And when we get frustrated during the journey, take a break and masturbate — it's a stress reliever! ⠀ We'll be talking about more benefits of masturbation next week during our webinar, "I'm Feeling Myself: Unpacking Masturbation Shame"! You should be there, head to the link in bio to learn more and join us! ⠀ Alt text: Black text over white background is from a submission to our #LoveNotes and reads:⠀ dear me, ⠀ you love sex. do not hate yourself for it. do not let their judgement and scorn hurt you because your intelligent and dirty mind is beautiful.⠀ love, me

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