We’re on a mission to provide an affordable channel to boost your mental health. So, each week, we’re checking in with our community to see how they’re working on their mental health and their goal towards happiness. We invited to Danielle Amanda, Body Confidence Coach to share us some tips on how to gain body confidence.
Q: “Ever since I was a little girl I was told I was fat. Looking back now I was perfectly healthy, I had some chub on my cheeks but that’s truly genetic, I have lost 20kg and yet still my cheeks are full. When other kids were out playing at 12-years-old I was running laps in my garden and skipping until I couldn’t breathe, all whilst be timed by my dad and being shouted at. If I ever ate chocolate or had a cake or fizzy drink, my dad would pinch the fat on my body and tell me I needed to lose weight. He has told me my whole life no one would marry someone as fat and disgusting as me, and that I am unworthy and useless and lazy and an all-round a horrible person.
I have worked on myself a lot and built up my confidence but those words are on my body like scars. I try so hard to love my body and accept it and fuel it, instead I end up hating it and restricting and feeling low and not wanting to look in the mirror. I wear clothes 2 sizes too big because I want to hide in them and not let anyone see my body. Even though I have lost weight, I still forget and feel like my bigger self in the mirror. Why I’m acting this way?”
A: “The first thing is to give yourself some grace. It sounds like you lived most of your life hearing that you weren’t good enough, and those messages take a while to undo! Along with your dad, society itself is not very kind to us and is always telling us to be thinner, and even if they aren’t overt messages they are EVERYWHERE! It’s not uncommon for folks who have lost weight to feel like you do. The most important thing to remember, though, is that your worth and beauty is not dependent on your weight.
A few other suggestions:
There are so many great books out there that can help you with your confidence and learn about why society is the way it is. The Body is Not an Apologyby Sonya Renee Taylor and Things No One Will Tell Fat Girlsby Jes Baker are excellent recommendations.
#2 Do a social media audit.
Society’s messages are embedded everywhere. Take a look at who you’re following on social media and ask yourself: Does this account make me feel good about myself? Do I compare myself to this person? Am I following a lot of diet/weight loss accounts that make me feel awful?Start following pages and accounts that make you feel confident and good about yourself.
#3 Start looking in the mirror and focus on what you like about yourself.
Notice those things and start telling yourself that you are beautiful. This takes a while, and it might feel weird at first, but it’s important to start talking about yourself in a positive light. It also may be a good idea to start wearing clothes that you enjoy, but that actually fit. While you might feel apprehensive about this, you may also find that it’ll give you a confidence boost. Another thing that could possibly help with the disconnect of the person you see in the mirror is going to a therapist, if you do not already. They can help you with the root of your body image issues.
The most important thing to remember is that your worth is not dependent on your weight. No matter how much you weigh or what you see in the mirror, you deserve love, respect, and the knowledge that you are enough just as you are.” – Danielle Amanda, Body Confidence Coach
If you’re struggling with your body image, feel free to contact Danielle via Instagram.